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Kissing Tune Up

Kissing Tune-Up - developed by a sex therapist

Did your partner confirm your worst fear? Your style of kissing does not make his or her bells and whistles go off.  Congratulations on figuring it out, and being willing to do something about it.  You might have been a great kisser for all of your past lovers, but the only one that counts at the moment is the person you are kissing in the moment. This tip is designed to help people living in Philadelphia to correct the problem.

As you are reading this tip, and practicing the suggestions, do not forget to ask for feedback from your partner.   If she/he has trouble articulating the problem, can she/he give you an exaggerated demonstration of the problem? Sometimes a good laugh can break the tension. Can she/he make some suggestions for how to improve? Is she/he willing to practice with you while you try out some new moves?

  • If you kiss like a pencil
  • If your kisses are too wet

Practice puckering your lips and kissing the air as loudly as possible. The act of making noise while kissing forces your lips into a ‘soft’ position. Once you are comfortable doing this, repeat it, but with less noise. Some people prefer a quieter sound. An added benefit to this style of kissing is that it tends to be on the drier side. It is hard to do a sloppy wet loud kiss. The saliva deadens the noise.

  • If your kiss is too soft
  • If you look bored while kissing

Practice kissing with an enormous smile on your face. The act of smiling tends to place the lips in a taut position.   An added benefit to this style of kissing is that smiles are contagious and thus, your partner will more likely be smiling back at you!

  • If your partner gets easily bored of kissing

Experiment with different types of kissing. This might be sucking on their lips, licking their teeth with your tongue. Change the pace of your kiss. Go from fast to slow.  Change locations.  Consider a roaming kiss where you start with their lips, then move down their throat, eventually ending up at their fingers. From their fingers, you can easily start sucking on them. After a few minutes of this, you can move their hand over their genitalia. Once near their genitalia, you can try kissing and sucking on both at the same time.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

"Alex" Caroline Robboy,

“Alex” Caroline Robboy, CAS, MSW, ACSW, AAMFT, CSTS, LCSW is the founder and executive director of the Center for Growth Inc / Sex Therapy in Philadelphia, a counseling organization that has an office in Ocean City, New Jersey, Richmond Virginia, Alphretta Georgia and 2 offices in Center City, Philadelphia PA.   In her space time she launched the directory sextherapy.com as a resource tool for professionals dedicated to improving peoples sexual health.  Alex has 25+ years of clinical experience working with adults and children. Specifically, she works with people struggling with compulsion problems, personality disorders, neurodiversity (dyslexia, tourettes, sensory issues, adhd, and high functioning autism) anxiety, depression, postpartum depression, shame, trauma, low self-esteem, grief, relationship issues, sexual function & dysfunction, blended families and parenting concerns. Currently, she provides individual, couples, family therapy and group therapy. Lastly, she offers supervision to both staff and therapists outside of this agency seeking their LCSW or AASECT Certification in sex therapy.  Lastly, thru the Philadelphia International Women’s Project, she led a two year sex therapy group for West African women who experienced Female Genital Cutting as well as a sex therapy group for Sudanese women who experienced Female Genital Cutting. 

Ms. Robboy earned three graduate degrees at the University of Pennsylvania; Masters in Social Work, Post-Masters in Certificate Marriage and Family Therapy with a Specialization in Sex Therapy and a Certificate of Advanced Studies in Human Sexuality Education (otherwise known as ABD) as well as a Certificate in Home and School Social Work. Additionally, Ms. Robboy is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Supervisor of Sex Therapy and an ABS Certified Sexologist. Lastly, she is a Certified Imago Therapist. She is currently pursuing certification in CBIT.