Simple Tips for Dating Philly: Getting Out There And Having Fun The key to dealing with dating in Philly is to just get out and do it. Often a good game plan and some good information about Philly can help get you moving. Remember, dating can actually be fun. So how do you get started? This tip is designed more for people looking for practice relationships, or to just have fun. This is not for the marriage only crowd.
Figure out what you are looking for: Are you looking for a companion, casual sex, dating experience, or even more than one of these? It is important to know what you are looking for so you can look for someone with similar ideas. For example, if you are looking for dating experience, it may be helpful to date a variety of people to have different types of experiences. Or, if you are looking for a companion in Philly, what kinds of things would you like to be experiencing or sharing with him or her?
Finding dates: Ok, so now you have decided what you are looking for and it’s time to find some dates. Many people think of the “bar scene” which can be a place to meet people, but it isn’t always the most ideal. There are many other ways to find dates, including internet dating sites, single events, speed dating, and general social activities (church activities, a sports league/club, etc.) A great place to find different general social groups is to visit www.meetup.com, which has a variety of different social groups. You can also use goggle search to find different speed dating events and singles events in your area. You may not believe it but real and “normal” people use these different avenues to find dates. It can also be helpful to let your friends and even family know that you are looking. Remember, to find dates you need to meet people. If may be easier to stay at home and hope, but it’s not going to get you a date.
In the age of email and internet dating, it can be tempting to exchange several emails with someone before you meet them. The danger in that is that the more you communicate via email, the more likely you are to build him or her up into someone, he or she may not be (and he or she may do the same by the way). Sometimes a great email connection can fall flat in person. Exchange a few emails and meet with him or her after that.
The first date: If you are arranging to meet someone on the internet, pick a public place for coffee, tea, or a drink and keep it short. Think about it. Do you really want to have long dinner with someone where the connection just is not there? If you arrange a drink, or coffee and you really make a good connection, you can always extend the date. Likewise, if you don’t hit it off, you can easily move on with your day or night. This is not only true for internet dates, but also other dates where you have only briefly met the person. If you have already had some in person contact and know that you get along, a longer date would likely make more sense.
Your job on the first date is to get to know them better and see if there is a connection. See if you can go an entire date without discussing work or hobbies. Do you click with this person? Can you just have a good time with this person? The first date is not the time for revealing big topics or issues. As the date progresses, the question you need to ask yourself is, do I like this person NOT do they like me? Remember, you are a person worth dating and spending time with. You don’t need anyone to validate that for you. If someone doesn’t like you, that is because you are not right for them, not because something is wrong with you. As for chemistry, sometimes I get asked by clients, how do I know if there is chemistry? My rule of thumb is to ask yourself: would I like to or could I imagine kissing this person? If the answer is yes, you have chemistry. If the answer is maybe and you connected with the person, there is a very good possibility of chemistry too.
Do I want another date:
Towards the end of the date, starting thinking about if you would like another date with this person? If the answer is yes, go for it. Women, don’t be afraid to ask or to at least say that you would like to see the person again. If you are not sure, I would encourage you to have another date, perhaps one where you do something active and fun together. By the second or third date, you will likely know if you want to continue dating the person. In addition, if you are not exactly sure if the person is looking for casual dating or a long-term relationship, you will likely know that by the second or third date too, if you haven’t already asked. If you have a second or third date and you think that the person is looking for something different than you (long-term relationship vs. casual dating for example), say something. If you want to casually date and you are with someone who wants a relationship who may break his or her heart.
If you are sure that it is not a good connection, don’t promise to call or agree to another date. A simple “nice meeting you” or “good night” works great. You could also be very direct after the date and say something like “it was nice meeting you, but I don’t feel like it was a good connection”. Another way is to send an email the next day saying the same thing. It is very tempting to ignore the whole thing, but most people prefer to know up front rather than to have person seemingly fall off the face of the earth.
What about exclusivity? Ok, so you have had a some dates with someone you like and you don’t want them to be dating anyone else. When they are dating, some people prefer to date more than one person, others only like to date one at a time. In any event, if you dating someone, you cannot assume that he or she is not dating anyone else. If you want to be exclusive, you need to speak up. You may be surprised that the other person is not dating anyone else. Or you may find that he or she is, but is only doing it because he or she is not sure what you want. Or you may find that the person you want to date exclusively, wants to continue dating others. In that case, you have a decision to make. Do you still want to date that person knowing that he or she is dating others, or do you need to move on?
Whether you are dating one person or a few people, it is important that if you make the decision to be sexual, always practice safer sex. If you have any questions about safer sex, please see some of our other tips on the subject. Don’t feel that you have to have sex to date. Flirting and kissing can be just as fun.
Remember, dating can be a great time to try that new coffeehouse, restaurant or activity and dating always makes for good stories for your friends who are married and in relationships!