Premature Ejaculation Exercise
Corrective-Ejaculation with Relaxation Premature ejaculation is the recurrence of ejaculation after minimal sexual stimulation. This occurs sooner than a male or his partner intended before, during, or shortly after penetration. The rule of thumb is that premature ejaculation occurs within 0-5 minutes of a sexual experience. At times this experience can seem almost uncontrollable which can cause a man to develop anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. There are two classifications: life long or partner specific. Keep in mind that some occasional experiences of premature ejaculation is normal. Stressful life events, engaging in sexual activities after a hiatus, having sex in a new environment, or with a new person can cause you to lose control. To meet the formal diagnosis of premature ejaculation, the loss of control must be an on-going experience. If you are experiencing premature ejaculation, continue reading to learn our premature ejaculation exercise that will help you develop control.
Thinking that can send you Tanking...To reduce your anxiety and stressful thinking, you would want to start by recognizing how your thoughts play a part in your unsatisfying performance. Events occur that affect our thoughts which can in turn affect our feelings and actions. For instance, remember the first time that you recognized ejaculating quicker than you would have liked. I imagine you began to have defeating thoughts such as, “I am not good in bed”, “My partner is going to find out that I am a loser”, etc. These thoughts led you to feel anxious, sad, worthless and defeated. Those feelings then influenced your future actions leading to a failed performance with the cycle repeating itself over and over again. As represented in the triangle below, our thoughts can influence our feelings which can in turn influence our actions which can also influence our thoughts and so on. This process is multi-directional. If you were to change the degree of one angle of the triangle, then the other angles will change as well to maintain its shape. Try using this concept to escape your defeating cycle of premature ejaculation. But how will shape analogies work with your current issue? Well...currently you cycle through negative thoughts that affect your feelings and actions with no way out. In order to escape, you would have to change the way you approach an event (sexual intimacy) by replacing those negative thoughts that have you defeated. Keep reading to uncover how to change those negative thoughts into more effective ways to regain control and escape this debilitating cycle.
Step 1: Corrective Thinking to combat Premature Ejaculation
Now that you know how your thoughts can prevent you from engaging in a great sexual experience, it is time for you to learn how to correct your negative thinking. Start with recognizing how your anxiety defeats you during moments of physical intimacy. Sometimes your body responds to mental thoughts and unconscious processes that you may not be aware of. This experience can dictate our behaviors and our full potential. Have you ever went into a situation and immediately thought that others were somehow thinking of you as a loser, incompetent, or undeserving? If so, you are an automatic negative thinker. This plays a part in premature ejaculation because you may have conjured automatic negative thoughts about how you will perform and what your partner may be thinking about you. You will have to retrain your brain to accept the positive qualities about yourself. It is time to get out of your thoughts and get into the moment.
First, try considering the positive aspects of yourself and your partner during the moment...this is the training part. Are you feeling good and turned on? Is your partner responding to your initiation or vice versa? Are you connecting with your partner in a way that you enjoy? If you are married or in a relationship, are you finding yourself feeling closer to your partner when you engage in sexual interactions? What does that closeness do to your esteem? Does the closeness make you feel special? Does your partner make you feel good? Your partner's breathing is changing, so what are you doing to make them excited? How is your breathing changing and what did they do to make you excited? Your partner is excited, what ways are they showing you this? These are a few ways to be in the moment with positive thinking.
Step 2: Demolish Sexual Anxiety with Relaxation
Now that you have learned how to correct your negative thinking to be more present during your intimate moments, it is time to learn how to relax in order to reduce your sexual anxiety. The goal of this relaxation exercise is to calm your mind and reject your negative thoughts. Practicing relaxation techniques will help you retrain your brain/thoughts in order for you to have a better focus, and thus a more positive experience.
This technique is especially useful for the anxious and hyperexcitability type of premature ejaculation. This relaxation technique may not come natural to you, but if you want to learn how to last longer, you will have to learn how to relax to improve your technique. Relaxation is typically helpful to men who struggle with:
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Intense stress
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Anxiety about performance
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Thinking and hoping that “This time I will last longer”
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Thinking “I don't want to be seen as a loser because I can't perform”
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Uncontrollable ejaculations due to hyperexcitability
During your next intimate moment, take time to take five deep breaths when you find yourself becoming aroused. This will allow your heart rate to remain low resulting in a decreased experience of anxiety and over excitement. With each breath, concentrate on your bodily sensations rather than how you are going to perform and how long you are going to last. Use your positive thinking to concentrate on how your partner's touch feels on your body, how their skin feels against yours, how the sight of them makes you aroused, how when you become aroused you feel your erection hardening, how your partner breathes more shallow or faster when they are becoming more and more excited, and so on. Continue experiencing your feelings and your partner during your sexual engagement. After penetration, allow yourself to continue to breath and flood your mind with sensations and your partner's response to your energy.
Taking your mind off of your negative thoughts and into the experience will help retrain your mind to be present and in the moment. By being present, you will be able to experience the sensations and energy from your partner that will give a new perspective on the way you enjoy sexual activities. Your mind is so powerful that it allows you to act in self defeating ways; believe that it is just as powerful to help you retrain the way you approach sex and intimacy. We hope that you have found this premature ejaculation exercise helpful.