Quitting Masturbation at Work : Establishing Healthy Behaviors in the Greater Philadelphia Area / South Jersey - Sex Compulsion Treatment
Have you ever masturbated at work? Are you concerned that you can’t stop? Do you worry that you might get fired for this or other sex acts you have engaged in at the office? Then read on, because there are a number of things you can do to help yourself put a stop to this behavior.
Identifying the Stressors - that make you want to engage in masturbation at work
Masturbating at work is a very serious problem, so it is worth thinking about why you are doing it. What pushes your buttons? What has to happen before you decide to take that leap? As with all problems, identifying the causes is paramount in developing a solution.
Think about your workday. When you come into work in the morning, are you already planning to masturbate? Or do you come in focused before something triggers you? Perhaps your boss chews you out or you are working on an especially dull and difficult project? Does something make you so nervous that you feel you have to masturbate or look at porn to relieve the pressure? Or are you just bored and unsatisfied with your job?
Think about the last time you masturbated at work and try to recount what happened beforehand. If you continue to engage in sexual activities at work, consider starting a journal documenting each activity and the events leading up to and following it. If you just forget or ignore each sex act once it is over, it is easy to underestimate the scope of a problem. By keeping a record you give yourself tangible proof of your problem and a blueprint on how to approach it.
You may be reluctant to read the journal, but don’t be. Pore through it, study it. You have probably already identified many of your habits, but there are almost certainly patterns you haven’t realized. Really try to figure out just which situations and feelings prompt you to masturbate when you shouldn’t, and consider why you think masturbation is an answer to those problems.
The next step is actually tackling the problem.
Reforming your Habits - ending masturbation at work
Your journal is a handy guide to all of the old habits that lead you to masturbate at work. Your goal now is to reform those habits. You need to find a healthy way to relieve stress. The goal of the list if to help you envision short-term solutions to help make the day-to-day cravings more manageable while building long term solutions, healthy habits that will last a lifetime.
Take a few moments now and jot down 15 things you can do. To get your started, here are a few.
- Call someone close to you. This can help you get through a particularly tough time, but it is also just a satisfying addition to your daily routine. Talking to someone else gets you out of your head and allows you to make a real connection. Until you are ready to talk about your problem, just call a loved one and tell them you are having a tough day, that you are fighting a minor breakdown. You will be amazed at the support and comfort you receive.
- Make a list of people you can call in a stressful circumstance. Consider adding people like your parents, siblings, close friends or other loved ones. If you have a therapist, put her/him on the list: they are a trusted person who you can openly share with. Anyone who you trust and who offers a sympathetic ear is fair game.
- Out of the above list, write down who knows your whole story. We strongly encourage you to have at least one person in your world who knows your whole story. If you can't think of anyone that already knows, or whom you would be willing to share with, we strongly encourage you to contact a sex therapist. While recovery on your own, is possible, it's much easier when you are not alone. Help is available.
- Go to the gym during your lunch break and work out your energy. The endorphins you release will leave you feeling nice and relaxed, and you may be able to achieve a minor meditative state by running, lifting or stretching. Exercise gets rid of nervous tension and leaves you feeling proud for having done something constructive.
- Write in your journal. Just as you expel physical energy by working out, free writing lets you get your thoughts out of your head and onto a page. It lets you self-reflect and put your feelings and cravings into perspective. You might be amazed at what comes out once you start writing, and will almost certainly learn something about yourself. And looking back over your journal later will give you an overview of your patterns and development.
- Take a walk around the office. Stretch your legs and say hello to your co-workers. Pull yourself away from those same old thoughts and get engaged in the world around you. This is a great way to shake up what is going on in your mind and body.
- Take scheduled breaks. Go outside and look at the sun. Walk around the block. Hang out in the office kitchen and maybe chat with whoever is there. You work hard and deserve to take a few minutes to relax and do whatever you need to do to feel more comfortable. Then return to work focused and at ease.
- Strategize with a colleague about how to tackle a specific project you are working on. Once again, this pulls you out of your head and allows you to connect with someone. But it has the practical benefit of helping you to develop the best solutions to complete the project. And it shows your colleagues that you are working hard and coming up with bright ideas.
- Give yourself some positive feedback. Remind yourself of all the good work you do. Giving yourself a pat on the back will make you feel good about yourself. Doing it regularly can increase your self-esteem, which will put a spring in your step on your road to recovery.
- Come back to your list! The next time you are at the computer and you reach to type in the name of a porn site you typically visit, don’t. Pull out your handy list of options and try each one. It is not doing you any good sitting in your desk. You have built yourself a buffet of positive habits and therapeutic exercises, now chow down!
Hopefully these tips help you to develop a stable, comfortable workday routine. You spend nearly a third of your time at work, so establishing healthy habits on the job is a major step in crafting a healthy, happy lifestyle.
This tip was written as part of our sex compulsion treatment recovery program developed for Sex Therapy in Philadelphia / the Center for Growth