SEARCH
101 Anal Sex Guide

101 Anal Sex Guide: Center City therapists teach clients how to have better sex

Are you curious about anal sex, but not sure where to begin?  Then keep reading. We have put together a 101 Anal Sex How-To Guide for beginners.  Please keep in mind, before putting any object into a lover's anus to use common sense. If you have no common sense or are worried that your sense of common sense is not the same as others, keep on reading.

101 Anal Sex Tips

  1. Listen to your partner: By listening, we mean both verbal and nonverbal cues. For those of you who struggle with sexual communication issues, we strongly encourage you to engage in the following exercise before continuing.
  2. Only try things on your partner that you would be willing to have done to yourself.  Unless of course, your partner specifically asks you to try it. Then everything is fair game.
  3. Only use objects in the anus that are retrievable. Imagine how embarrassing it would be to go to the ER and have to explain to a doctor how a ball got stuck in your anus, or worse yet, how a cucumber split off in your anus. Again, we strongly encourage your using toys that are designed for anus insertion.
  4. All objects used in the anus must be smooth: Sharp or jagged objects can tear the lining of the anus, thus making yourself vulnerable to infection.  Flexible objects are more easily maneuvered in the anus, thus working with the natural curves, as opposed to fighting them. Anal sex is supposed to be fun, not harmful.  Do it safely.  Hint: if you use your finger, make sure that your nails are cut. Long nails / jagged nails can cut the anus lining.
  5. Cleanliness: After touching your partner's or your own anus wash with soap and water.
  6. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and have a range of feelings.  Sometimes it is hard to predict one's own reaction(s).
  7. Stay present: Continually check in with your partner and see how he or she is doing. Stay connected with yourself and share with your partner where you are at.
  8. Be realistic: Beginners need to go slow. Engaging in safe anal play requires strong sexual communication skills. You will make mistakes. Trust and experience are something that only comes with time and practice.  Do not expect perfection in the beginning. Practice makes perfect. Lastly, give yourself permission to savor the moments of each ‘new’ thing that you try

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

"Alex" Caroline Robboy,

“Alex” Caroline Robboy, CAS, MSW, ACSW, AAMFT, CSTS, LCSW is the founder and executive director of the Center for Growth Inc / Sex Therapy in Philadelphia, a counseling organization that has an office in Ocean City, New Jersey, Richmond Virginia, Alphretta Georgia and 2 offices in Center City, Philadelphia PA.   In her space time she launched the directory sextherapy.com as a resource tool for professionals dedicated to improving peoples sexual health.  Alex has 25+ years of clinical experience working with adults and children. Specifically, she works with people struggling with compulsion problems, personality disorders, neurodiversity (dyslexia, tourettes, sensory issues, adhd, and high functioning autism) anxiety, depression, postpartum depression, shame, trauma, low self-esteem, grief, relationship issues, sexual function & dysfunction, blended families and parenting concerns. Currently, she provides individual, couples, family therapy and group therapy. Lastly, she offers supervision to both staff and therapists outside of this agency seeking their LCSW or AASECT Certification in sex therapy.  Lastly, thru the Philadelphia International Women’s Project, she led a two year sex therapy group for West African women who experienced Female Genital Cutting as well as a sex therapy group for Sudanese women who experienced Female Genital Cutting. 

Ms. Robboy earned three graduate degrees at the University of Pennsylvania; Masters in Social Work, Post-Masters in Certificate Marriage and Family Therapy with a Specialization in Sex Therapy and a Certificate of Advanced Studies in Human Sexuality Education (otherwise known as ABD) as well as a Certificate in Home and School Social Work. Additionally, Ms. Robboy is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Supervisor of Sex Therapy and an ABS Certified Sexologist. Lastly, she is a Certified Imago Therapist. She is currently pursuing certification in CBIT.