What is a dildo? How to use a dildo? & How to introduce a dildo to your lover?
What is a dildo? A dildo is a sex toy that is usually penis-shaped and designed for vaginal or anal penetration. However, some do not look exactly like a penis. Dildos come in a rainbow of colors and a variety of shapes, textures, and styles. Some people prefer to use a dildo that completely resembles the color, shape, and texture of a real penis. But others prefer something different such as a dildo that is hot pink or one that lights up. Dildos can be made from a variety of materials including plastic, rubber, latex, silicone, and "jelly". Dildos can be used by people of all genders and sexual orientations. They can be used for masturbation or for other sexual activities. Dildos can be used alone or with a partner.
A dildo should not be confused with a vibrator. Vibrators buzz and create a different sensation because of that. Vibrators are also battery-operated or electrical. Dildos are not operated by electricity; therefore the sensations created by using a dildo will be from manual insertion and movement of the device.
How are dildos used? Dildos are typically used for vaginal and/or anal penetration. The stimulation felt from inserting, thrusting, or removing a dildo is similar to the stimulation received from a penis. Some people use dildos in other ways, such as running them over the skin during foreplay, as gags, or to simulate or practice giving oral sex. Some people also use specially designed dildos to stimulate the G-spot. You can also use a dildo by rubbing it against the clitoris, the head of the penis, the scrotum, or anywhere you wish on your own or your partner’s body. There are also double-ended dildos, with different-sized shafts pointing in the same direction. These can be used for both anal and vaginal penetration at the same time. Also, two partners can share a single dildo, where it will act as a sort of "see-saw" so that each partner takes an end and receives stimulation. There are dildos designed to be worn in a harness, sometimes called a strap-on harness or strap-on dildo, which can be used to penetrate a partner.
A few tips for beginners: It’s important to remember to start small when using a dildo for the first time. Don’t "take in" more than you can handle. Also, don’t insert something that can not easily be removed afterward; this is especially true of toys for anal use. Keep in mind that the average penis size is 5-6 inches. For beginners, it is best to choose a dildo around this size, although some may wish to start smaller. Starting with one that is too big may be uncomfortable or cause pain. Remember to always avoid anything with rough edges, exposed electrical wires, toxic or irritating substances, and bacterial contamination. Always practice safe sex with your toys. Wash them with a gentle antibacterial cleanser, and use a condom if you're sharing toys with a partner. When choosing your first dildo, be sure to do your homework. Figure out a size that you like. Then look at the color and shape. Do you want it to look real, or is a sparkly red one more your style? Should it even look like a penis at all? Some places make dildos that look like household objects rather than a penis, Are you looking for something with ridges or “veins” or would you prefer it to be smooth? Do you want clitoral or g-spot stimulation? Think about the material next. Do you have any allergies? Be sure to avoid any material that may cause a reaction. Are you looking for hard, smooth, plastic or do you want it to feel soft like jelly or like “the real thing?” Ordering a dildo online is a nice benefit for anyone who is shy, but it is recommended to go to a store so you can experience the size, shape, texture, and material before purchasing.
For females, with a male partner: Pick a dildo that is similar to the size and/or shape of your partner’s penis. Choosing one too large may cause him to be envious of your toys or make him feel like he’s not living up to your expectations. Also, choosing one that is too small, if your partner is on the larger size, may not give you the stimulation you are looking for. If you have a partner that is “too big” you can use a dildo to help you take more of him inside you. With a dildo, you can control how much is inserted at a time. Once again, start on the smaller size. Begin by only inserting a little bit of the dildo at a time. Try moving it around, and in different positions to determine which sensations feel the best. Slowly, increase the amount of penetration. Then, as you become comfortable with that size dildo, move on to a larger one. This will teach you how much you can handle. Once you are ready, have your partner do the insertion so he can learn how much to use for penetration. Walk him through the different positions and moves you used to determine what felt the best. When you feel as though you can now “handle” your partner, try having sex again.
How do I bring it up? This section is for those reading who are thinking “Wow that sounds like fun, I think I would enjoy that, but how in the world do I tell my partner?” You might even be thinking, “Oh my they will never ever go for this.” If you really want to get a dildo and start trying new things, you’re probably feeling happy, excited, and even a little sexually free and expressive. All of those are great! But with these thoughts and feelings also comes, nervousness, anxiety, tension, and maybe some frustration, especially if you’re worried about bringing it up to a partner. If you do choose to get one and want to incorporate it into your sexual relationship, talk it over with your partner. Tell them, this is what I have found, I think I will like it and I would like to try it. They might be on board. If your partner is not accepting at first, explain why you want it and what benefits you see. Tell them what you think it will do for the relationship too. Remind your partner that you are not trying to replace him or her just that you are simply trying to add to the good experiences you already have. Hear out any concerns your partner might have. Then develop an agreed-upon plan for when, where, and in what context you will be open to using the dildo within your relationship. Another way to ease your partner’s worries is to have him or her be a part of the decision making process. So think back to the questions earlier on in this tip about what size, texture, shape etc. that you would want. Have your partner help you make some of those decisions so he or she is fully aware and involved in what you are getting.