Pegging is a sexual activity where a woman penetrates a man anally. Anal sex is often a topic that people assume is reserved for homosexual men. Among heterosexual couples, the common assumption around the practice of anal sex is that the male is penetrating the female. However, pegging is a practice that requires the female to use a dildo or other penetratable sex toys to insert into the man's anus either through holding with her hands or in a harness, commonly known as a strap on dildo. Pegging has received attention in the media in an episode of Broad City. This example helps to reduce the stigma around pegging, however it is still a topic seldom talked about among heterosexual couples.
Pegging allows a woman to take on a dominant role in sex by being the penetrater. Men can gain a lot of pleasure out of their anal region and prostate during penetration.
The practice of pegging should be between two people who able to give informed consent and have a trusting relationship. Identify each of your reasons behind wanting to peg and communicate this with your partner.
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Are you wanting to play out dominant and submissive roles?
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Are you only interested in prostate stimulation?
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Wanting to spice up monotonous sex with something new?
Any reason or goal for the activity is healthy and normal as long as you are both on the same page. If either you or your partner are only doing the activity to please your partner the switch of power in the dominance and submission without that being both of your goals may turn a sexy activity into resentment.
As with any positive sexual experience, communication is essential in pegging.
Heterosexual couples receive a lot of messages about the purpose of sex. Some believe it is for procreation, intimacy between two people, just for fun, etc. Pegging is an example of a sexual activity that has the sole purpose of giving and receiving pleasure so it requires you to give yourself and partner the permission to be completely about pleasure. Some people struggle with letting themselves go for the only sake of it feeling good.
A lot of people experience initial pain when receiving anal penetration. For this reason it is very important to go very slow, use relaxation strategies and a good lubrication.
You and your partner must communicate about each of your limits with pain and how that will be talked about during the act. This can be done with the use of safe words. People who engage in kink often will say “no” or “it hurts” because pain is part of the process. During sexual arousal, your pain receptors are heightened making the brain interpret normally painful sensations as pleasure or overcoming slight pain to experience more pleasure pushing through it. This does not mean all pain is good pain and you need to have a way to make things stop when you reach your limit. If you are in the middle of pegging and someone is saying it hurts or moaning in a painful way, the message may not be received as clearly due to similar expressions being heard as a good thing in other sexual instances.
If one partner calls out their safe word or reaches their limit during pegging and it is not respected by the partner, the consensual sex turns non-consensual and is assault. While switching the stereotypical gender roles to the woman being dominant as penetrator involves a switch of power, the goal is not to emasculate or shame a man for having interest in anal play. Pegging can be great and fun for couples who are both turned on by the action and do so in a safe and healthy way.
Pegging is not a one time conversation. It is very important to check in before, during, and after to ensure that both partners had a positive experience and the ways to promote more pleasure, trust, and intimacy in sexual activity. For more how tos of anal penetration check out information on types of sex toys to use. Or call Center for Growth for a consultation with a sexuality trained therapist.