Swingers Clubs and sex clubs can be a good option for a couple who is pursuing an open relationship or for the couple who wants to spice up their sex life. Remember, before you try this idea, both people have to be on board and there needs to be an open and thorough discussion about ground rules and non-negotiable boundaries. It’s extremely important that you have a game plan at all times and an a open line of communication.
One of the things that you will find as you start to look for swingers clubs and sex clubs is that there are several different types. There are on premise clubs which means you are allowed to have sex in the club. These are quite often by invitation only and cater to couples and single women for the most part. There are some clubs that allow single men on certain nights. It’s important to note though that there are no expectations that you have sex with anyone there. There are many people that are voyeurs and like to just watch. The best thing to do if you’re a first-timer is go there and watch what’s going on around you. You will be able to learn a lot about the place that way. The venue may even ask you if you are a “player” or “watcher” to get a good balance in the club. Because it is by invitation only, most people are very respectful of your boundaries. It’s important to know what those boundaries are so talk about it a lot with your partner before you get there. It is also common due to the nature of the club for it to be in someone’s home. The general and most important rule in on-premises venues is that no means no. If you say no to someone who approaches you, that should be sufficient. Some people are a bit persistent, but if someone rejects your proposal you should leave it at that and move on to someone else. Being polite works both ways, and being subtle about making advances or rejecting someone makes it easier on everyone. You don’t have to scream at somebody “no, get away from me!” You can just very subtly look away or disengage from their body communication, or move his or her hand off you softly.
However, keep in mind; if someone does not respond to that, you may need to more directly state that you are not interested. If they continue to persist, you may need to go speak to the staff. Also remember, there is no guarantee of sex just because you paid your entrance fee. If sex does occur, condom use is a must in most of these clubs. There is almost always one within reach no matter where you are in the club, so use them!
The next type of club is the off premise club which is usually at a bar, spa or resort. This type of club is typically a place for like minded people to meet and then do whatever they would like after meeting. It can all be very intimidating at first but remember there are most likely several other couples/singles that are there for the first time as well and are likely just as nervous as you are so try to relax. Most every club, whether on or off premises, will require you to become a member. Because of the nature of a swing club, membership helps to ensure a more trusting and fun environment for people who really want to be involved. You want to make sure that you are able to join one that you can trust and where you can feel comfortable. Research clubs before you spend the money to make sure that you make a good decision.
Another type of club is a sex club. This type of club is traditionally for gay and bisexual men to safely explore their sexuality, but there are some that will allow couples as well. There are a couple types of sex clubs. The first is the “dry clubs” where visitors remain clothed and may rent out a room or they may have “glory holes” where you insert your penis in a hole and you receive oral or sometimes anal sex. This is usually anonymous sex where you don’t even talk to the other person so it is very important for you to use condoms in this situation. Usually people stay for a shorter period in a dry club typically a half-an-hour to two hours. The second type is a “wet club” where they have saunas, spas and steam rooms. In these places towels are usually provided and visitors are expected to undress and put their clothes and shoes into the lockers provided.
No matter what club (for example: swingers clubs and sex clubs) you decide to explore, take the time to do your homework. Talk, talk, talk and talk some more with your partner. Know your partner's limitations, know the rules, know the club and know yourself and your own limitations and you will be able to have fun. And remember, safety when you visit these clubs is essential.