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Sex After Pregnancy

Sex after pregnancy: Not much research has been done to establish the frequency of intercourse after the birth of a child.  The only information that I could find comes from The BabyCenter Sex Survey; What new and Expectant Parents are really doing www.babycenter.com In this survey, they asked the question How soon after your baby was born did you get back into the swing of things?

Nearly half of all couples followed their doctor's instructions and waited until the second month to have sex(most doctors recommend waiting four to six weeks). Still, 20 percent had to have each other in the first month – with one couple admitting they waited just one day! Only a fraction of couples waited more than six months to make love again.

48.2% – We had sex again in our second month.
21.2% – We made love within the first month.
18.6% – We had sex for the first time somewhere between months three and four.
2.8% – We had sex for the first time somewhere between months five and six.
2.5% – We waited at least six months to resume lovemaking.
6.8% – Other

Typically, physicians recommend women wait to resume intercourse until after they have been seen for their post-birth check-up around 4-6 weeks after birth.  Doctor's recommendations to avoid intercourse during the post-partum period stem from a desire to minimize the risk of infection from spreading up through the vaginal canal into the uterus, before the uterus has an opportunity to return to it's 'normal' pre-pregnancy state. Nevertheless, it seems as if many people opt to take matters into their owns and have sex sooner than the "doctor recommends".  Interestingly a significant number of women will wait even longer to resume sexual relations despite having a normal exam. Some of the causes for this might stem from:

  • Exhaustion / fatigue
  • Lack of desire
  • Pain during intercourse.  While a woman might have a 'normal' exam, sometimes it takes a few extra months for the inside of the vaginal canal to feel normal.  However, given the trauma that the woman just experienced while giving birth, please make an appointment with your obstetrician or midwife to rule out any potential medical complications.

If you are struggling to have sex after pregnancy, schedule an appointment with your OB to discuss your concerns. After your OB has given you a green light to resume sexual relations and you are still struggling with sex after intercourse, then call a sex therapist.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

"Alex" Caroline Robboy,

“Alex” Caroline Robboy, CAS, MSW, ACSW, AAMFT, CSTS, LCSW is the founder and executive director of the Center for Growth Inc / Sex Therapy in Philadelphia, a counseling organization that has an office in Ocean City, New Jersey, Richmond Virginia, Alphretta Georgia and 2 offices in Center City, Philadelphia PA.   In her space time she launched the directory sextherapy.com as a resource tool for professionals dedicated to improving peoples sexual health.  Alex has 25+ years of clinical experience working with adults and children. Specifically, she works with people struggling with compulsion problems, personality disorders, neurodiversity (dyslexia, tourettes, sensory issues, adhd, and high functioning autism) anxiety, depression, postpartum depression, shame, trauma, low self-esteem, grief, relationship issues, sexual function & dysfunction, blended families and parenting concerns. Currently, she provides individual, couples, family therapy and group therapy. Lastly, she offers supervision to both staff and therapists outside of this agency seeking their LCSW or AASECT Certification in sex therapy.  Lastly, thru the Philadelphia International Women’s Project, she led a two year sex therapy group for West African women who experienced Female Genital Cutting as well as a sex therapy group for Sudanese women who experienced Female Genital Cutting. 

Ms. Robboy earned three graduate degrees at the University of Pennsylvania; Masters in Social Work, Post-Masters in Certificate Marriage and Family Therapy with a Specialization in Sex Therapy and a Certificate of Advanced Studies in Human Sexuality Education (otherwise known as ABD) as well as a Certificate in Home and School Social Work. Additionally, Ms. Robboy is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Supervisor of Sex Therapy and an ABS Certified Sexologist. Lastly, she is a Certified Imago Therapist. She is currently pursuing certification in CBIT.