"Alex" Caroline Robboy

Bondage & Discipline, Sadism & Masochism, Dominance & Submission

What Is A Silent Alarm?

What is a silent alarm? What is a Silent Alarm? A silent alarm (also known as a safe call, or safety call), is an arrangement you make to check in with a trusted friend when you’re meeting a new partner, or someone you don’t know well enough yet. The concept of silent alarms originated within the BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance, sadism, masochism) community as a way to ensure physical safety for al...

Sex Compulsion & Love Compulsion

Shame Of Sex Compulsion

The Shame of Sex Compulsion We have all been ashamed of ourselves at some point, and for most of us, many times throughout our lives. Shame is the feeling of regret, sadness, guilt, embarrassment, self-hatred, fear and isolation. Believe it or not, you are not alone and many people understand how you feel. In addition, many people are able to cope with sex compulsion, and lead full and happy lives. If you a...

Desire Discrepancy

Sexual Desire Issue

Are you and your partner struggling with sexual desire?  Do you feel pressure to perform although you’re not in the mood?  Is sex unsatisfying?  Does it feel like a chore?  Do you feel like you have a great relationship in all areas but just don’t connect sexually?  Are you concerned with what your partner will think about you?  Have you fallen into a pattern of avoiding sex because you fear the outcome?  I...

Anxiety & Sex

Sexual Style

Discovering your sexual style tip is designed to help you figure out what your sexual style is.  It will help you if you feel like you’ve been stuck in a rut sexually for some time now.  You will be able to identify what areas of your sex life you want to address first.  This technique will also be beneficial for those who have anxiety discussing their sexual preferences with their partners. It will help im...

Anxiety & Sex

Sexual Shell

Bringing your partner out of their sexual shell;  have you and your partner fallen into the same sexual routine?  Have you noticed that your partner always initiates sex play the same way?  Does sex feel repetitive or does your partner have a hard time being creative?  If you have answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions then it is possible that your partner suffers from sexual anxiety.  This tip is designe...

Body Image Issues

Sexual Self Esteem

Sexual Self Esteem:  Self Esteem can be defined as a person’s overall evaluation of their self-worth. Self esteem includes how they feel about their self beliefs, emotions, as well as how self esteem manifests itself in behaviors. Self-esteem is identified as being vital even indispensable to normal and healthy self-development. How does this connect with sexuality? The way that this reflects itself sexuall...

Children, Teens and Sexuality

Sexual Safety At College

Practicing Sexual Safety at College: going to live at college in Philadelphia opens up a wide new world of freedoms. As you start of your college career, you discover that you have some choices to make about things that never came up at home. Will you choose to skip classes? Do you want to start staying up until three or four in the morning? Will you play music that your parents would never have let you lis...

Enhancements for Sex

Sexual Positions

Sexual Positions *Ideal for new couples first starting to have intercourse* Missionary Position (person with a penis or dildo on top) In the missionary position, the person with a penis or dildo is on top and assumes the dominant role. The other person who is on bottom assumes the passive role. (Each person is lying down, stomach-stomach, face-to-face. Most people may be able to remember using this position...

Female Sexual Pain

Sexual Pain Glossary

Sexual Pain Glossary:  If you have been experiencing sexual pain for some time now and are beginning a course of treatment, you may hear many different terms to describe your condition and the necessary treatment.  These new terms may be confusing and at times sound like a different language.  In order to put you in control of your body, it is necessary to have an understanding of what each option is that i...

Children, Teens and Sexuality

Sexual Orientation

Sexual Orientation When many people think about sexual orientation, they think about someone being either “straight” or “gay”.  Some people even think about a person being bisexual (attracted to both men and women).  Everyone is supposed to fit neatly into a category and if there is any deviation from that category (contradictory behaviors or thoughts), it can be alarming for some people.  Sexual orientatio...

Family Planning, Safer Sex & STD's

Sexual Genogram: Making Sense of Your History

Sexual Genogram: Making Sense of Your History.  The types of questions sex therapists at Sex Therapy in Philadelphia ask while taking a sexual history. At Sex Therapy in Philadelphia / Center for Growth, we believe your past impacts your current sexual functioning more than you think it does.  We believe that the experiences we have had in our lives inevitably shapes us into the person that we become.  We a...

Enhancements for Sex

How To Create Your Own Sexual Fantasy

Sexual fantasy — How To Create Your Own What is your sexual fantasy?  Have you ever been asked that question by a partner?  Or, have you ever watched a movie where couples talk about sexual fantasies?  Do you have some specific sexual fantasies or have you been somewhat stumped by that question in the past?  Well, this is the how-to for creating a sexual fantasy. Make a list of your sexual turn-ons.  Also, ...

Sex Compulsion & Love Compulsion

Sexual Compulsion Triggers

Identifying Sexual Compulsion Triggers: a key component of sexual compulsion treatment is figuring out when and where during your day that you are most likely to act out sexually.  Then creating a plan for how you will deal with these chunks of time so that when they come up, you do not act out.  These time periods where you are more likely to act out sexually, are known as acting out hot spots.  For some, ...

Communication in the Bedroom

Sexual Boundaries

Sexual Boundaries: having boundaries is an essential piece in feeling safe in any relationship (friendship, with family, lover, etc.). Sexual boundaries is about knowing your limits and what you're comfortable with, and being able to advocate for yourself as needed. Whether having sexual boundaries is speaking up, walking away, or identifying and asking for your needs. At the Center for for Growth / Sex The...

Asexuality

Sexual Aversion

Most people are not in the mood for sex twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. Sometimes people get sick, tired, stressed out or simply don't have time. This is normal. However, if the feeling of not wanting sex persists and you find the thought of it disgusting, repulsive or unpleasant, you might be experiencing a sexual aversion. Sexual aversions can occur when: You are with the a person for the wro...

Celibacy

Sexual Abstinence

Sexual abstinence is when one chooses to refrain from engaging in sexual behaviors. Defining Sexual Abstinence Although popularly defined as refraining from any kind of sexual activity until marriage, the definition of abstinence can vary widely between individuals.  Abstinence is a choice that can be made at any time, even if one has already engaged in sexual behavior.  Note: An underlying component for ab...

Dating

Sex Games

[caption id="attachment_2721" align="alignright" width="150"] Sex Games[/caption] Sex Games:  Children know how much fun playing games can be, and adults would do well to remember.  Sex Games are a great way to stretch the mind, connect in new ways and foster intimacy.  Playing Sex Games with a lover can be fun, competitive, sexy and humorous. There are no limits as to how you and your lover play games. You...

Children, Teens and Sexuality

Sex and Pregnancy

Sex and Pregnancy: Pregnancy is a life altering event.  Life will never be the same as you knew it. You can not go back. Parenthood is permanent. Once a child is born to you, you can not just trade it in for a different model if it cries, says or does something you do not like.  Children are permanent. Pregnancy, unlike parenthood, impacts men and women differently.  The impact of pregnancy is different for...

Menopause & Sex

Sex and Menopause

Should the words Sex and Menopause still go together?  The good news is that women before, during and after menopause remain sexual beings.  However, the experience of menopause may cause women to doubt this, due to the influence of Western social and cultural values over the perception of the aging process. During menopause, women’s bodies undergo a series of biological changes which have social implicatio...

Medical Conditions and Sexuality

Sex and Heart Attacks

Sex and heart attacks: What if you had a heart attack a few months ago and are doing well and exercising on a regular basis. You want to have sex again, but you are afraid that having sex might kill you.  The doctor says that everything is fine, but the last thing you want to do is die in bed making love! For men, there is a connection between the blood flow in the heart and the blood flow in the penis.   I...